Sins of Basilia (Shrouded Thrones Book 4) Page 18

Tesher wanted more than anything to speak with her privately, but from what he had seen of Yakar, that was not to be. At least not today. If she had requested to be wed during the full moon, she still held onto her faith.

  It gave him hope.

  “I will leave you to enjoy one another,” Tesher said in the best Issan manner he could. “Since Carmela and I will be staying indefinitely, we will have ample time to converse.”

  He nodded to both of them in turn, then hurriedly exited.

  Carmela found herself once again sitting upon the large cushioned bench in King Imran’s favorite room. The sun had started to set, so no rays of light descended through the hole in the ceiling. To make up for the lack of brightness, several torches had been lit along the walls.

  She clutched the same red pillow, which perfectly matched her dress. It may have been made from the same fabric.

  “I see you discovered the contents of the wardrobe.” King Imran sat beside her. “You are stunning, my dear.” He fingered her hair, which had taken her a long while to untangle.

  “You are too kind.” Her cheeks heated, and she clutched the pillow tighter to her bosom.

  The king chuckled. “Do you find comfort in pillows?”

  “I suppose I do.” She nervously laughed right along with him. Perhaps it was unwise to be alone with him in such a place, but surely, he had no intimate intentions. Not when he knew of her affections for Tesher.

  She shifted her gaze from him and sighed. “There is so much to say, I know not where to begin.”

  He rotated sideways on the seat and faced her. “It is always best to start at the beginning.”

  “Are you certain you have time? I was told Mesha is quite ill. Should you not be with her?”

  “Our healer stays at her side, and I will be informed if her condition worsens.” He took her hand. “Carmela, your concern means a great deal to me.”

  She had never felt threatened by his touch, but having no one else present changed everything. Her first instinct was to pull away, yet she did not want to offend him. “I feel dreadful that Tesher and I have increased your burden, what with your wife laying ill, and all the trouble with Yakar and Pasha.”

  “Worry not over any of these issues, and tell me what troubles you.”

  She inched her eyes upward to meet his. “Angeline.”

  “Yes. You indicated earlier that there was more to be said in her regard, aside from her wanting your man.” He patted her hand and thankfully released it. “So tell me, what has she done?”

  She wanted to reveal everything, but it would endanger Tesher, so she carefully chose her words. “How familiar are you with the writings of the prophets who have shaped much of the belief system in the other realms?”

  “Aside from bedtime stories handed down to our children from those outside our kingdom, I know little of your prophecies.”

  “Do you mind if I speak of them?”

  He chuckled. “You are in Issa. Nothing is forbidden.”

  “Very well.” She took a deep breath and prayed he would accept all she had to say. “One of our greatest prophets, Masa, foretold many events that transpired exactly as he said they would. Only one prophecy of his has yet to be fulfilled. It is that of a high queen who will rule over all the realms.”

  “Your kingdoms would not accept a queen as their ultimate ruler. Angeline herself brought forth a law requiring a king to gain the title by combat. I could have cast my own bid for the throne, but chose not to. I would find it bothersome.”

  She appreciated his honesty and nearly laughed. At least she had started to feel more at ease. “I fear there is another part of Masa’s prophecy that if fulfilled would allow a queen to rule.”

  “Go on…”

  She stared into his face—so regal and handsome, and yet that of a mere mortal man. “According to his writings, every king will die.”

  His head slowly drew back, then tipped to one side. “Every king?” He sat tall. “I cannot imagine something of that magnitude coming to fruition. Even if the current kings should perish—myself included—there are princes who would ascend to their thrones. Are they to die as well?”

  “I would assume so. Unless, they were wise enough to decline the throne.” This time she grasped his hand out of desperation. “Years ago, I overheard Angeline speaking to our father. She believes herself to be the prophesied queen, and I think she is doing all she can to fulfill what she sees as her rightful destiny.”

  “Your sister has been known to be cruel, but if I am understanding you correctly, you are implying that she herself is somehow orchestrating and manipulating the prophecy. She would not have her own brothers killed.”

  “She murdered her own husband!” Carmela slapped a hand to her mouth, wishing to take back her words.

  Imran stared at her in a far different way than he had previously. “Did he not die by drowning?”

  Her thoughts tumbled. “Yes. But…it was rumored he was poisoned.”

  “I heard no such tale. The only gossip that came to my ears was of his involvement with a youthful servant girl, and because of it, his heart failed him.”

  “His dalliances with the girl, I know to be true. Frederick was not a good man, yet he did not deserve to be killed. I swear to you, Angeline had her hand in his death.” She searched his face for acceptance, but doubt lay in his eyes. “I dread this forthcoming match. From the depths of my being, I believe it will end in bloodshed. I warned Talman, yet he would not listen!”

  “My dear, sweet girl.” Imran drew her into his arms and stroked her hair, then placed a light kiss on her brow. “You are trembling.”

  Until that very moment, she had not realized the degree of her distress and that she was shaking, but went rigid in his embrace. She carefully, yet forcefully, pushed him away. “I thought you understood, I am not like the women here. I will never lie with you.”

  His face fell as if she had truly wounded him. “Is that what you believe to be my intention?”

  “Is it not? Why else would you display such affection?”

  He frowned and completely deflated, becoming nothing like the king she had always known. “It is time you knew,” he whispered.

  His intonation twisted her insides, and fear gripped her in a manner she did not comprehend. She failed to utter a sound, and simply sat there with the pillow clutched to her chest.

  “I show you affection,” he said in the saddest voice, “because I love you. I have always loved you.”

  She shook her head. “It is improper. I am only eighteen and just recently deemed a grown woman. Are you prone to the same tendencies as King Frederick?”

  “No.” His face turned ashen. “Do you honestly not know?” He grabbed her hand and firmly held it. “Look at me, Carmela. Can you not see yourself?”

  Her heart seemed to stop beating, and she could not find her breath. Tears formed, pooled, then dribbled down her cheeks. “You?”

  He slimly smiled and nodded. “Yes. I am your father.”

  The words hovered in the air and lingered, almost as if she feared accepting them. A multitude of memories swirled through her mind, recalling every encounter she had had with him since she first set foot in Issa as a child. He had embraced her then, just as he had moments ago.

  “I was blind to you,” she muttered. Her body had gone numb and she knew not what to do or how to behave.

  He pulled her hand to his chest and pressed it over his heart. “You have resided here since the day you were born. I was not allowed to openly love you.” He kissed her hand. When he released it, he took hold of the tips of her hair, then held it close to his own. “You see. Even the color of our hair is the same—though mine has flecks of white. Have you not noticed your similarity to Yakar and Wynne, and many of my other children?” His eyes widened and he searched hers, just as she had done, hoping for acceptance.

  “I believe you.” She looked away, fighting the desire to run. It seemed a silly thing to do, since she had wanted a firm understandin
g of her parentage, and why so many people believed she was not fully Thanwinian. “Did my father know?” The words slipped out before she realized how ridiculous they were. “That is, did King Hadwin know?”

  Imran’s frown deepened. “Do you wish to hear everything?”

  “I am tired of secrecy, so yes, tell me all.” If only Tesher were by her side. She needed his support. “From the beginning.”

  Imran folded his hands on his lap and sat upright. “I met Maranda on the day I married Mesha. As is customary, all kings from every realm attended the ceremony.”

  He said her mother’s name with so much love, it tugged at Carmela’s heart. But even love did not excuse what they had done.

  “Your mother was twice my age,” he went on. “She caught my eye nonetheless. She carried herself proudly and her beauty went beyond her outward appearance. Yet while everyone celebrated, she sat alone, looking horribly sad. Hadwin, along with your brother, Talman, drank excessively and cavorted with numerous women.”

  Carmela held up a hand. “Cavorted? I will not believe they partook of your ways.”

  “Believe what you will, but I vow, my words are true.”

  “No.” Wanting to cry, she hugged the pillow. “For years, Father ingrained in me the evil of your beliefs. He told me I was better than every Issan and to come here and learn how not to behave.”

  “Men act differently in Issa than elsewhere, and when they leave our realm, they become who they previously were. Away from here, Hadwin saw himself as righteous. He allowed you to come here, only to torment me.”

  “That cannot be!” She covered her face with the pillow and cried, then startled when Imran lovingly rubbed her back.

  “I knew this would be painful for you. Shall I go on, or have you heard enough?”

  She lifted her head, sucked in air, then slowly released it again. “Go on. As difficult as it is, I must know.”

  “Very well.” He sat tall. “My wedding day was one of the happiest times in my existence, and it disturbed me to see anyone in despair. So, I excused myself briefly from my new bride and approached your mother. When she looked at me through tears, with her crystal blue eyes, my heart pierced. And when I asked why she cried, she told me Hadwin had vowed to stay true and not indulge in Issan practices. She then burst out sobbing, believing her eldest son had gone off with a woman. She feared for his ability to claim a throne, if it became known. I vowed those in Issa would not speak of it, yet she was not eased.

  “We continued to converse far longer than I intended, because she enthralled me, and I could not break away from her. She shared how she felt that she was to blame for her husband taking another woman, and that they had not been intimate since Angeline’s birth.” He let out a little grunt. “She so easily spoke of it. In some ways, Issa took hold of her.”

  Carmela quickly calculated. “Angeline would have been five at the time of your wedding. Are you saying, my mother and father had no relations for more than five years?”

  “According to Maranda, yes.”

  Carmela’s tears had stopped, but her face was still damp. She wiped across it and squared her jaw. “So, you took it upon yourself to revitalize her?” Spite easily came forth.

  “There is no need to be angry, for that is not how it happened. I listened, and I cared. However, I did not touch her until many months after.” He leaned close. “She came to me after being struck by Hadwin. Someone had reported to him that they had seen us together at the wedding, speaking intimately. Maranda told Hadwin nothing had happened between us, but condemned him for his behavior at the celebration. He did not want to be chastised or reminded of his indiscretions, so he hit her and told her never to speak of it again. He struck her so forcefully, it took weeks for the bruise to fade. She feared for her life.”

  Carmela rubbed across her aching chest. “My poor mother.”

  “Hadwin may have treated you kindly, but the man was a beast.” Imran deeply inhaled. “I took pity on your mother and allowed her to stay in Issa. The more time I spent with her, the greater I cared. One thing led to another, and eventually, we gave into our feelings. Then, after we lay together, she withdrew from me, feeling horribly guilty. Issan ways were most definitely not hers. By then, Mesha was heavy with child, and Maranda missed Angeline. She insisted she return to Thanwine and face her husband.

  “She knew not that she carried you with her. Even so, when she arrived in Thanwine, Hadwin treated her coldly and would not allow her in their bedchamber. When she realized she was with child, she attempted to hide her swelling stomach, but eventually, Hadwin knew. Of course, he understood you were not his, and he nearly choked the life out of her until she confessed that she and I had coupled.”

  Carmela’s head throbbed. “How can you know what you did not witness?”

  “She penned a letter and sent it to me by way of a trusted courier. It revealed everything I told you. If you do not believe me, I can show you the parchment. It is safely hidden.” He rubbed his hands nervously up and down his legs. “She wanted me to be aware that if something happened to her, it would be by Hadwin’s hand. Just as I told Angeline, I do not believe your mother perished in childbirth. Hadwin ended her.”

  “What?” Carmela stood on shaky legs and stepped away from him. “Not only have you revealed the most horrific detail of my life, but you shared it with Angeline?”

  He closed his eyes and lowered his head. “When I was in Basilia for the funeral, it came about unexpectedly. But yes, Angeline knows.”

  Carmela hugged herself and rocked back and forth. “Do you realize what you have done? She has every reason to despise you now, and your life is in even greater peril!” Uncontainable heavy sobs burst from her.

  Imran rose and drew her into an embrace. Unlike before, she clung to him and wept.

  He kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. “I cannot bear to see you in such pain. Can you not find some joy in knowing I want only to love you?”

  His words brought on more tears. “Your love is evident, but I will surely lose you.” She looked up at him through cloudy eyes. “Angeline will not rest until you are dead.”

  “Shh…” He swayed with her. “I am well protected in Issa. No harm will come to me.”

  She burrowed against him, attempting to draw strength from his confidence, yet nothing dismissed her fears.

  Chapter 15

  Carmela had lain in bed crying for a great while, having excused herself from her father for some much-needed time to herself.

  The chamber door creaked open, and she eased up onto her elbow to make certain it was Tesher and no one else. Though the room was utterly dark, she could see him illuminated from the hallway lanterns.

  “Carmela?” he cautiously called out.

  She had no strength to rise completely. “I am here.”

  He hurriedly brightened the lamp on their table, then hastened to the bedside. “Are you ill? I would have come sooner, but the king told me you were resting and that I should not disturb you. He encouraged me to dine with them.” He sat beside her, and she lay fully down again.

  “I could not eat if I tried.” Tired of crying, she stifled her tears.

  “You are ill.” He put his hand to her forehead. “I feel no fever. Where do you hurt?”

  Her chin quivered. “Here.” She rubbed across her chest. “Tesher, please hold me.” Tears returned of their own will.

  Without hesitating, he climbed atop the bed and drew her into his arms. “What has happened? I thought my encounter with Pasha was dreadful, yet I fear what transpired between you and the king. Did he overstep his bounds?”

  “King Imran is my father!” she blurted out and continued on until she had told Tesher everything. She did not even allow him a moment to respond to her revelation.

  All the while she spoke, he kept his arms folded around her. His loving gesture helped relieve the pain of her own words.

  “The part that hurts the most…” she concluded. “…is accepting that Ha
dwin—who I still feel compelled to call Father—could have killed my mother. How will I ever know for certain?”

  “You may not. As we discussed earlier, no one can speak from the grave.”

  “Yet if it is true, he deprived me of my mother.” She gripped Tesher so hard her fingers ached. “I have been in this chamber recalling so many memories, and I see clearly now why Hadwin pushed us to Issa. He wanted to flaunt me in front of my real father in order to upset him. Imran called him a beast. Perhaps it was he who taught Angeline her wicked ways.”

  Tesher tenderly rubbed along her arm. “I am grateful you have a good heart, and I am sorry it was pierced.” His movement stopped. “At least, in knowing all this, I understand Imran’s behavior toward you. I will no longer be inclined to jealousy.”

  “If you truly love and trust me, jealousy should never be an issue.”

  “I do love you, but my human heart is faulted. It disturbed me to watch how he touched you. However, now it makes sense. He adores you as his child and there is nothing sensual in his actions.”

  Fortunately, during the course of her lengthy recantation, her tears had ceased altogether. “As painful as this has been, I feel strangely joyful beneath my shed tears. I have a living father, not to mention multiple brothers and sisters. It is actually quite overwhelming.” She took a large breath and repositioned herself to look into Tesher’s face. “I have spoken endlessly about myself. Did you see Pasha?”

  “Yes. Once with her and Yakar alone, then again when we dined.” He frowned and turned his head.

  “Your actions tell me it did not go well. I had hoped—”

  “Yakar is not at all as you claimed.” He let out a disgusted huff. “It makes matters worse, knowing he is your brother. I do not trust him.”

  “Why? Was he unkind?”

  Tesher released her, sat up, and hugged his knees to his chest. “Rude better suits his behavior. He was also condescending and arrogant. He had his mouth all over Pasha as if she were his meal, and showed no regard for my presence in doing so.” He breathed harder and faster. “He treated her no better than a dog, making her sit and come at his command.”